* Your life's goal Is to "amount to a hill of beans."
* Instant coffee takes too long.
* You channel surf faster without a remote.
* When someone says. "How are you?", you say,
"Good to the last drop."
* You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest
of
eternity in a coffee can.
* You want to come back as a coffee mug in your next life.
* Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
* You'd be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.
* You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
* You're offended when people use the word "brew" to
mean beer.
* You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar."
* You get drunk just so you can sober up.
* You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.
* Your Thermos is on wheels.
* Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
* You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
* You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
* You short out motion detectors.
·* You have a conniption over spilled milk.
* You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
* Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
* You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
* You don't tan, you roast.
* You don't get mad, you get steamed.
* Your three favorite things in life are, coffee before and
coffee after.
* Your lover uses soft lights, romantic music, and a glass
of
iced coffee to get you in the mood.
* You can't even remember your second cup.
* You help your dog chase its tail.
* You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
* Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
* You introduce your spouse as your "Coffeemate."
* You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."
* Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V.
hookup.